WHAT IF YOUR HUSBAND WANTS A THREESOME FOR HIS BIRTHDAY?

Pamela wanted to make her husband happy for his 40th.

Pamela wanted to make her husband happy for his 40th.

Gulp.

In next month’s COSMO we have a story on how, in some circles, the threesome has become routine.

Apparently, according to the features team, they are no big deal in COSMOland.

(Sometimes I do feel I am just too old for this gig.)

The US edition of Marie Claire takes this notion that one step further.

Writer Pamela Druckerman’s husband asked for one for his 40th birthday and she agreed. (She thought he might have liked a vintage watch. Silly girl) On the condition that she could choose the woman.

She then wrote all about it for the magazine.

She writes: “This isn’t exactly surprising. He’d voiced the fantasy before. So had practically every guy I’d ever dated. But this time I say yes. Maybe it’s the moral weight of the big birthday and the fact that he never asks for anything. Maybe I’m daunted by the price tag on a stainless-steel Rolex. Maybe, as a journalist, I can’t resist a deadline, or I pity him heading into middle age consigned to sleeping with the same woman (me) for the rest of his life. And maybe, just maybe, it’s because I fancy the idea myself.”

A bold chick, I think.

If it’s what she wants, and no-one is going to get hurt, what’s the harm?

Time goes by and Pamela runs prospective sexual playmates past her husband, she is surprised to find that most of her friends and family members seem “fit for purpose,” his eyes.

(Is this surprising? She herself says in her book, Lust in Translation (about cheating around the world,) that the major risk factor for infidelity is ….men, so she should know that they are not exactly ….choosy in this area.)

But she decides on someone less close to home and, for the benefit of every MC reader, details her search and ….

Of course Marie Claire are running the story in two parts. They wouldn’t give their whole juicy view-magnet away in one shot.

If you want to discover the gory details of what happens, follow it online (The link is at the top of the page.)

Me?

I realise just how bored I am with other people’s sex lives

I blame it on almost 20 years in women’s magazines.

What’s interesting is the fact that a) she is prepared to do this ostensibly for “her husband” and 2) to write about it.

The COSMO team has got a point. Perhaps this is the “new normal.”

Are threesomes an ex-taboo?

I guess, that after 40, some people’s sex life can do with some spicing up. A menage a trois, a bit of exhibitionism (writing about it under your own name. Phew. That’s …confident), the risk of trying something challenging to the notion of monogamy …might notch that sex life up a gear.

If you’re prepared for the consequences.

In the end, Pamela goes through with it.

It seems that the experience…pops her cork somewhat less than it does her husband’s. (Apologies for cheesy play on words) and she declares (in print at least), that it’s all a bit boring and that she’s not keen for a repeat performance.

Which is, I suppose, is an adult, no-harm-done-outcome, except …

her husband REALLY enjoyed it.

He sends her creepy little thank you notes saying: “It affirmed for me how much I like the female form. When you “have” (my emphasis) two, it accentuates that.”

But is sex about “enjoying the female form?”

To Mr Druckerman, it clearly is, at least in part.

And it seems to me that he enjoyed himself just a bit too much to not want to try again.

And then she’ll be in an interesting position, won’t she?

Because once you’ve crossed any Rubicon, it’s tough to go back.

So what happens next?

The conventional wisdom is that some fantasies should stay fantasies, and some taboos remain taboo.

For good reason.

If I were her, I’d be just a little worried.

That vintage Rolex might have been a less pricey option, after all.

2 Responses to WHAT IF YOUR HUSBAND WANTS A THREESOME FOR HIS BIRTHDAY?

  1. gossamer_wings March 12, 2010 at 19:29 #

    I am so glad to have found a blog post about this article. Was it just me or at the end did it seem as though he and the other woman were going at without paying her any attention at all? (The whole, she is just scratching their backs and finally they wear themselves out comments.)

    I wan’t uncomfortable until then. It felt like she was suddenly the third wheel, which is pretty bad considering that SHE is the wife.

  2. thesharkguy March 13, 2010 at 18:54 #

    Lots of unanswered questions….first and foremost being, um, ‘did she actually enjoy herself?’ The whole thing is so clinical….And what are the implications going forward? (given the other woman was summarily dismissed thereafter, no doubt as disappointed as the hubby who is likely wanting to repeat the experience— much to the chagrin of the writer of the piece)

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