I need a reason / an excuse?
I don't think so.
"Smart man's crumpet is the same as stupid man's crumpet."
I never dreamed I would win the Mark twain Prize for American humour, mostly because my sense of humour is so typically Austrian.
"“I was a mostly happy child, though I had a pretty rough puberty. Growing up as a girl is always traumatizing, especially when you have the deadly combination of greasy skin and getting your boobs at ten. But I think it's good to grow up that way. It builds character.”
"My four-year-old daughter has a pretend hair-and-nail salon, and I was doing her hair and makeup. I said, "Hello ma'am. What's your name? And what do you do?" And she said, "I get paid to dance at parties." And I said, "Oh, no. That's a terrible, terrible answer."
"There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don't have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you're doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth."
"“If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?”
"“You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.”
" “To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.”
"So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.”
Via Tina Fey quotes and The Berry