SO TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES ARE TO DIVORCE. IN THE SPIRIT OF HELPFULNESS … WHO SHOULD T CRUISE MARRY NEXT? I HAVE SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR THE 4TH MRS EMPLOYEE/SLAVE/WIFEBOT.

by hurricanevanessa on June 30, 2012

* Wipes a little tear from the corner of my eye * RIP TomKat.The relationship that was Too Bad To Be True. However. The exit of one Mrs Cruise leaves a career breaking opportunity for another, so, in the name of sport (and assistance, as I'm sure Tom's people are creating a logarithm to find the next one right now...) some suggestions ....

 

Kirstie Alley. C'mon, you know it makes sense. And they're age appropriate, too.

Tom. Contact Momager Kardashian. She'll sort it out for you.

See? This one is a no-brainer. What do you mean she isn't real? That's my point. Entirely.

Sue Sylvester. But. Hang on a minute ... isn't Jane Lynch ... gay?

There are few pretty, young chicks who would consider this job opportunity one worth taking. However .. . poor little Sensa Stark? She could be interested. Give her a ring, Tom's people. Go on.

And that is it, from me, for now.

A short list, but even for a creative and gifted matchmaker like myself, I have to admit, this is tough gig.

Can you help out?

All suggestions, gratefully accepted.

 

 

 

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Stefan June 30, 2012 at 09:14

He is GAY!!! There is only one man that can help him = John Travolta

Leigh June 30, 2012 at 09:54

One of the guys from Magic Mike?

Mimi July 1, 2012 at 20:37

The Wiggle with the blue turtleneck?

Robi27 July 6, 2012 at 08:39

Oh lord, Mimi – I can’t believe you went there! Now the Wiggles song is stuck in my head.

Also, I’ve taken to calling Tom “Tommy C”. Because he could do with a little more streetcred.

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