NAKED CELEBS BARE ALL FOR ALLURE

Ashley Tisdale

Bridget Moynahan

More celebs and some waffle from me, after the jump

Kaley Cuoco

Keri Hilson

I have been asked, (particularly on the occasions when I get overly sanctimonious and judgmental on the prevalence of naked images in magazines, that are not our own) how I can square my opinion on other magazine’s naked shots, with the fact that our very own Marie Claire runs a Very Naked Issue every year.

Am I a hypocrite?

I have to say that I might very well be one.

A pragmatic hypocrite.

It’s an unfortunate epiphany to have about yourself, but let me explain:

For e.g: While I would love to run pretty much un-retouched images on the covers of our magazines, I am at the mercy of the system and must do the best I can to do my job, with what is available to me.

If I want to run a cover of today’s Hottest Hottie and sell lots of magazines, (so I can afford to send my millions of children to expensive Jewish Day Schools,) I need Madame Hottie of The day to do so. Madame Hottie’s agents will not release just any image. The image they release is retouched at their discretion and should we tamper with it, we will never again get permission to run the next Hottie of The Second.

So, yes, even though I feel very strongly about retouching, I do what I can.

And, actually, I’m rather proud of what our magazines achieve with regard to the images of women that we publish.

Sometimes we can’t give ourselves the body image gold stars I dream of, but mostly we try very hard to strike the right balance between achievable and aspirational. That is our job.

But forgive me, that meander off track about (usually clothed) covers is a digression.

Back to Allure’s naked celebs.

While I’m not crazy about naked bodies popping out of me from every page of women’s magazines, I do find myself forgiving of many things I know I shouldn’t like if they have a sense of humour and are done for a good cause.

The Axe campaigns, Hangover (The Movie,) Jackass, Seth Rotherham from 2Oceansvibe … it seems my list of funny exceptions to the PC – rule is long and flexible.

Marie Claire’s Naked Issue is always witty, good-natured, never exploitative and always good-humoured.

Marie Claire does not deliver porno-lite. Our celebs are not retouched to resemble wax models and the Naked Issue always raises money for a good cause.

Here are four young female celebs in Allure.

They’re very retouched.

And, while they are not exactly “Fuck me” sexy, they are passive, dull and docile, and it’s hard to imagine them placed as they are, for any other purpose than seduction.

Allure is a beauty magazine and I suppose, to most of us, they are beautiful.

But to me they are also irritating

Sigh.

In a magazine aimed at women, the female reader finds herself confronted with naked and passive images of successful young women.

They’re not models flogging a moisturising lotion for all that skin they are required to display.

They’re actresses, singers, women with talent.

And these young women are styled only to speak the language of sex and availability, yet again. Even if, this time, it is in very quiet voices.

Imagine Robert Stinky Pantz Pattinson in the same series of pictures.

Maybe I’m really deluded, but I don’t think Marie Claire is doing the same thing at all.

Of course, disagree with me, as you like.

2 Responses to NAKED CELEBS BARE ALL FOR ALLURE

  1. Danielle Bowler April 13, 2011 at 11:26 #

    Agreed! Well said ;)

  2. Dan Mae April 14, 2011 at 16:07 #

    I happen to disagree. Quite strongly.

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