(Don’t answer that.)
How could I add to the marvellousness that is this piece of writing: “This is the perfect stocking stuffer, from Pipedream! Product description: “…perfect for warming your johnson, hiding your afternoon boners, and disguising those all-day semis. Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations, only the Tuggie keeps your hands-free and your junk covered anywhere you go! Ordinary tube socks work great but they look terrible! The stylish, leopard-print Tuggie wraps around your pleasure rod and sack, allowing you to let your stuff hang in any setting you can imagine. Wear it on the plane, in cold movie theaters, at the ball game, on vacation or to the beach–it doesn’t matter, you still look and feel great!”
Grrr! Only $9.50! It’s out of stock, though (penis shrinking, sobbing). Better get an ® on that thang.”
No. I couldn’t.
Certainly not after the day I have had and the two glasses of red wine I have just downed.