Or…childhood, what’s that?
This adorable $2 600 “toy,” The Little Tykes Young Explorer, (a mini-computer and “workstation” with a cubicle design,) will train your baby wage-slave to be a white-collar drone.
It’s just what children need, isn’t it? Marketed at pre-schools, it aims to discourage the “little tykes” from running around, climbing, getting out in the fresh air, building and assembling things …all those outmoded activities which, these days, teach our children such unnecessary skills.
After all, who needs to be active, flexible, strong, athletic or even just … healthy, if all you’re going to do is grow up to be a desk- jockey in a cubicle in some faceless corporation?
Any child with this “toy” is living that life …already.
It’s a finalist for The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (CCFC)’s “Worst Toy of the Year” Award 2010 (Affectionately known as The Toady”) along with gems like the HALO United Nations Space Command Turret — a rotating, stationary assault weapon with four cannons. For kids eight and up. Yes, really.
So if you don’t want your child to grow up to do a soul-destroying desk job … teach them to kill people instead.
There are millions of Video games which do that (and worse, choose “killing people” as a career option) already.
Bitch Magazine reported on another finalist: “Nickelodeon’s Addicting Games, promoted at all its company sites, including to the preschool audience of NickJr.com. Why is this a problem? One game on the website is Perry the Sneak, where players try to peek at scantily clad women. This turns out to be a wholesome pursuit compared to the other options, which include a game called Perry the Sneak, (“where back alley butchering has never been so much fun”), Stealthy Hitman (“Your next Victim is waiting”), and Stick Dude Killing Arena (“Train to Kill Until You Die”)