Need a translation for the ad?
Here goes: Rich girls, who can afford the insane prices of a store like Harvey Nichols, do not do the “Walk Of Shame.”
Expensive clothes, it seems, have superpowers.
Expensive clothes can stop you becoming hung-over, queasy, wobbly and undignified.
Wearing your expensive clothes you can appear “classy,” after you’ve behaved like a slut.
(Unlike all those other girls, who just, poor dears, look like … sluts?)
Expensive clothes magically make rich chicks appear just sprung-out-of-the-shower-the-brunette-one-from-Sex-and-The-City-perfect, whatever time they choose to come home.
Unlike the proles/ slatterns dressed in their tacky, too-tight, too-short high street tat.
I call bullsh*t on this propaganda.
Firstly, expensive clothes crumple, stain and rip as well as cheap tat, and… sorry if this is news: Evening dresses and high heels worn in the morning look as if you’ve been up to no good, no matter how much they cost.
And …so what?
Amusing as it is, the ad is missing the whole point of Walks of Shame.
Walks of Shame are fun!
Walks of Shame are rites of passage!
Both they, and the events leading up to them, should be embraced whole-heartedly and with much enthusiasm and energy.
Call me old-fashioned, but the point of the whole exercise is to get dirty, is it not?
No matter how expensive the frock, the shoes and the underwear, if you (or your partner) haven’t tossed them around a little … if your party clothes were, (as the Princess in the ad, must have done) carefully, obsessively, weirdly folded up before any action commenced, so they would not be crumpled, trodden on, gleefully swung around one’s head in the manner of a cowgirl at a rodeo?
If you don’t arrive back home looking exactly like you’ve had a major workout?
If you don’t look as if you’ve hung upside down from a chandelier?
Honey – you’re doing it wrong.
There is plenty of time (in your 40s, ideally, ) to look like you have just returned home from a stultifying dinner with your banker husband’s Korean partners.
I salute The Women of The Walk of Shame.
Bad Girls? Tuck into your bacon and egg sandwich at the bus stop! (You deserve it.) Throw your shoulders back and smile at the world!
You might need a gentle reminder to take a condom, not a cardi, of course, but, for heaven’s sake?