HOW NOT TO SELL CONDOMS TO OAPS?

It's an ad for the Family Planning Association!

It's an ad for OAPs from the Family Planning Association!

They're targetting OAPs for condoms? Good work Granny!

They're targetting OAPs for condoms? Good work Granny!

I have never been very good at maths, but even I can figure out that people who wore clothes like this must be past 60, by now.

How cheery, then, that the UK FPA think that OAPs are a market worthy of reminding to “take a condom, not a cardie.”

Wild, unplanned rumpy-pumpy past 60? Good work Granny! The future suddenly looks rosier for young ‘uns, like myself.

(Ahem)

There are a just few problems with this campaign, though:

1) That horrible clothing is really un-sexy. If the question is “Does it make you horny, baby?” I’d have to say, that my answer would be a resounding “no.”  Does anyone remember the clothing of this period as …sexy? All that polyester and patent leather? There was a reason that Mad Men was not set in the 70′s.*

2) Then there’s the issue of telling the old dears that they are likely to get more STDs than any other sexually active group. Be careful, copywriters! You could scare your potential market to death! Then where would you be?

3) Perhaps the copywriters were banking on their audience suffering from age-related long-sightedness. Because surely, if you are flogging condoms you don’t want old dears reading “”So if you want to enjoy a few more perfect summers of love, remember – condoms rock. Use them!”

A few more summers? A few more summers before you shuffle off to heaven where everyone is lily white and no-one does the nasty? Depressing the hell out of the target market is surely not an aphrodisiac.

Oh Lordy. After that dire prediction, even the horniest Dirty Old Man would need more than a Viagra, to get him in the mood.

And if they aren’t excited, what use is there for the condoms?

Just saying.

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