I am extremely jealous of (SA’s updated answer to Hugh Hefner/Hugh Grant/Hughever) Seth, over there at 2oceansvibe.
Of course, he deserves every bit of success that he has, but ….grrrrr.
He only has to post Sophie Monk in a bikini, and his devotees, like a herd of obedient and horny …sheep, flock!
Sophie Monk, in a bikini, was apparently, by far his most popular post.
In a bloody bikini.
Do I sound bitter?
I don’t mean to.
It’s just that men are … how do I say this without sounding misandrist ?(Go on admit, it you don’t know what that means, so weedy and uncool is it, as a word.) much easier to please, than the sisters.
I have spent a lifetime in women’s magazine. Trust me. I know how tough the female audience is.
Perhaps the straightforwardness of male preferences, vis a vis content online, is to do with them being primarily, visually stimulated.
As opposed to: being only stimulated by sweet words, a sexy way of holding a cigarette and /or dancing, an exciting (but not too toxic,) sexual CV, whether one’s girlfriends rate him, how (insert preference here) tall, well-built, dark and handsome or blonde and Nordic he is, whether your mother loves or hates him (insert preference here,) How well-stacked he is in the wallet department or how well-endowed he is in the trouser department. How he feels about children. And dogs. and soft toys. What his breath smells like in the morning. What kind of sheets he has on his bed. Etc.
You see. Women’s desires are complex and tricky.
What women say they like, they don’t : “Oh no! I don’t care about how rich he is, so long as he likes to walk on the beach at sunset.” And what they say they don’t like, they do: “I MUCH prefer a nice guy to a bad boy.”
And they’re the same when faced with Eye Candy.
Of both sexes.
Let’s use Sophie Monk as an example:
I asked the COSMO team what they thought about her, and showed them a picture. Here are their responses: 1) Oh, doesn’t she hang out with Paris Hilton? Yuk. 2) Um. I think she looks a little cheap 3) Oh vile, I hate that dress. It looks like she is trying too hard. 4) Sophie Monk? Who is she? 5) Is she dating anyone interesting? 6) What has she done that is interesting? And so on.
Can you imagine a man EVER thinking even one of those thoughts?
No. Not those. But they do think one thought, and it is this:
You see? Much easier to manage.
But back to the point of this post.
On The Manofest (a cookie cutter US college humour website,) like all the millions of blogs and websites just like them, they do love their chicklists. They post thousands of chicklists (Hot cheerleaders wearing purple, Hot cheerleaders wearing red, Hot cheerleaders wearing nothing etc) and hundreds and thousands of men visit them (without so much as a complaint) every day.
Manofest even have 100 Hot chicks dressed as Jessica Rabbit.
The post is very popular amongst Manofest’s men pals.
I asked some women what they thought of the Jessicas.
Their responses : 1) Hm. That dress is too small for her. 2) A bit sad, don’t you think? 3) I wonder what exact shade her hair is. 4) That has to be a wig? 5) WHY are they all dressed as Jessica Rabbit 6) I recognise her! Its Heidi Klum. Do you think that she was shot before she had her last baby? Look how flat her stomach is! It’s not fair, I still have a Mommy tummy, no really, look at it, it’s revolting! Do you think iHeidi Klum’s is retouched? Heidi Klum has had three babies. I like her babies’ names, they’re not the usual Hollywood stupid names. etc and 7) Who is Jessica Rabbit? Has she done anything interesting?
What do women want?
It might take me, (even after 100 years as editor of COSMO!) just a little while longer, to figure out.