ALAS, POOR BRITNEY SPEARS

Covered up enough from you?

Covered up enough from you?

Her father has apparently banned her from leaving her LA home without a bra.

The Australian Herald Sun (and practically every other media outlet in the world) reported: “Jamie – who has legal control over all Spears’ affairs – fears his troubled daughter is getting close to the brink again and has imposed a host of new rules on the Womanizer singer.

He is embarrassed by constant pictures of her nipples popping out of her clothes and has insisted she only leaves her Los Angeles home wearing the correct support.

Jamie, 57, is taking the order so seriously he has even threatened to fire one of the 28-year-old’s security guards who has let her be photographed bra-less several times in recent weeks.”

Oh, the irony.

In issuing this command, of course, he has insured that his daughter’s nipples are plastered all over every single blog, tabloid, supermarket weekly magazine.

In fact, whole galleries of her “pokies” are “popping” out, everywhere, as I type.

This proliferation of protuberances, defeats his purpose, doesn’t it?

Surely a better solution would be to let his poor, abused 28 year old child, spend a year or two out of the spotlight?

If Britney was not working, she would soon fade from the attention of the world’s slathering paparazzi.

If she was not living in LA, but, let’s say, in The States’ equivalent of Port Elizabeth, quietly taking her children to a nice suburban school, doing a gym class every morning and …oh let’s say, decoupage in the afternoon, it would very soon become immaterial whether her breasts were enclosed in a nice sensible bra, or not.

It would certainly be no business of her father’s.

I, as always, prescribe, a period quietly volunteering in an African orphanage, getting some perspective on real life plus some much needed privacy.

Going somewhere, where, perhaps nipples aren’t such a big deal, (Come on over to Africa, Britters, we’ve got plenty of nipples hanging around,) and where a pretty, American with a singing voice could disappear, while making a valuable contribution to the world, would work wonders on her self-esteem, happiness and long-term mental health.

But, I fear, the self-esteem, happiness and long-term mental health of his child, is not what control freak and greedy, abusive Dad Jamie Spears is interested in, is it?

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