Sam and Aaron
The love story of the artist, Sam Taylor Wood and the 19 year-old actor, Aaron Johnson, has provided the media with a convenient real-life example of 2009’s newest older woman/younger man cliche and meme: The Cougar.
Taylor-Wood is 23 years older than her husband-to-be.
The couple recently announced their engagement and Taylor-Wood said, “The age difference doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t see why it should mean anything to anyone else.”
But. Hohum. It does.
In a series of events which look almost scripted for the gossip columns, the high profile Taylor-Wood and her ex-husband, art dealer, Jay Jopling, split up less than a year ago.
Within three months, he was spotted, draped like a prized piece of vintage clothing, over the nubile and very much younger, Lily Allen. That affair did not last long, but was received as affairs between successful men and very much younger women usually are: a bit of back-slapping and congratulations and very little surprise. Minimal judgment.
A response from the world of men? Just another “Phwoar!” moment.
It is, of course, a different story when the roles are reversed.
Poor Ms Taylor Wood’s timing is a bit grotty. 2009 was the year that the term “cougar” became a cliche, with TV shows like Cougar Town, The Cougar and others, cluttering up both drama and reality schedules.
And there’s nothing like becoming part of a cultural meme to expose yourself, inadvertently, to the glare and judgment, of the world’s media.
Taylor-Wood is a serious artist, a mother of two and a woman who has struggled through two bouts of colon cancer. I would imagine that she has no interest in becoming either this year’s Demi and Ashton, or the poster girl for “Cougars” everywhere.
But in choosing a 19 year-old, she’s breaking cover, of course.
It is easier, to jog along with a partner, if you share values, expectations, experiences and are at similar life stages.
And of course, once the first flush of crazy romance wears off, she might discover that she does not want to bring up a third child.
It is equally risky to rush into a relationship in the first year, after 11 years of married life to someone else.
And, also risky to marry anyone, that you have known for less than a year.
But people who, as she herself said “stare death in the face,” have generally been forced to explore what matters to them. I would imagine that, while contemplating her own mortality, she has decided she might as well seize every opportunity for happiness that comes her way
And that, when offered the chance of romance and great, youthful, enthusiastic sex, it might be really senseless to deny herself, just because of what “other people” will make of it.
Doesn’t saying no to the chance of happiness, seem more foolhardy than choosing a partner who does not fit society’s expectations of an “appropriate” choice?
After all, she was married to someone suitable for 11 years.
And that, clearly, had ceased to work for either of them.
